The Un-Holy Trinity, Part II

We have all felt the burning sensation of guilt and shame deep inside of us. It is a sickening feeling that causes thoughts of worthlessness, hopelessness, and desperation. As we rehearse our latest failure at trying to get it right, the stream of all of our past mistakes begins to replay in our minds. How could I have made this mistake again? How could I be so weak? I have failed God. As this thought progression proceeds we go into "repair mode". We must "fix" this mistake and somehow cure this horrible feeling in the pit of our stomachs. We vow to pray more, read the Bible more, be better; a better person, Christian, and the list goes on. I can almost see God hearing these types of prayers and shaking his head in pity saying, you just don't get it. You see for most Christians simply relying on God's grace is nearly impossible. It doesn't make sense to us because that is not how it works in our culture. If you commit a crime then you pay for it; a group of people decide how heinous your crime was and then decide the degree of severity your punishment will be. We carry this thought process into many areas of life including religion. If we make a mistake then we must punish ourselves, we must prove to God we are willing to suffer and thus are truly sorry. So we allow ourselves to be trapped under a burden of shame and then we tally the score and realize we have failed more than succeeded and thus lose all sense of worth. Does that really sound like a life worth living? Christians everywhere live in silent oppression, overwhelmed with the feeling of not being good enough for God. Where did we get this notion of perfection? This bar that keeps getting raised, that is always just beyond our reach? It has been instilled in us from Sunday School, that we are to be like Christ...in other words perfect. We are to live a sinless, blameless life. But I think we are missing the point. In our attempt to be perfect we miss what Jesus' life was about. His purpose was to show humanity the love of God. To show the religious leaders of the day that God didn't care about their rituals and discipline, he cared about the prostitutes and the beggars on the street. Shouldn't showing God's love to not only others but ourselves be our focus? Instead of living a life in a constant cycle of shame and self-destruction what if we admitted we aren't perfect, we never will be; but we can strive to be the best version of ourselves. What kind of life brings more honor to God? A life lived under the oppression of shame, or a life lived in freedom and love, loving others and loving yourself?